Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Things I've learned...

The last 6 weeks have taught me so much.  I've helped raise 2 younger brothers, 4 nieces and 2 nephews.  However, when the child in question is yours, all bets are off.  Suddenly, you become the most ignorant person alive.  Here are a few things I desperately wish people would have told me before the babies arrived.

1.  You will cry a LOT at first, and wonder what the heck you've gotten yourself into.  It's normal, but you feel like complete crap when these things creep into your head.  The first few days/weeks are really, really, really hard, so go easy on yourself.  If I'd known these feelings were normal, I'd have talked to someone about them instead of feeling ashamed.  These passing thoughts do not make you a terrible mother.  They make you human, albeit a thoroughly stressed out and overwhelmed human.

2.  You can accomplish much more than you ever thought possible-  things like hauling two 6 week old babies to 4 different stores in less than 2 hours because there are things that you cannot do without (like dog food, perhaps?).  It is also totally possible to push a stroller and pull a shopping cart at the same time.  Note that I didn't say fun, easy or enjoyable, but it is definitely possible. 

3.  No one is as hard on you as you are on yourself.  Whether you have issues with breastfeeding, or colic, or you're just not sure how to do this whole "raising a kid" thing, you'll figure it out.  No one will judge or second-guess your decisions more harshly than you will, but if your baby is fed, changed and loved, then you're doing it right. 

4.  It is so important to maintain a connection with your significant other.  Taking care of children is stressful and time-consuming, and it is so easy to neglect the relationship that brought your babies into being.  A hug and an "I love you" goes a long way when you are both frazzled, exhausted and snippy!

5.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Literally.  I'm going to have killer legs from all of the squats and lunges I do on a daily basis and the babies aren't even mobile yet.  I have spent more time on the floor of my living room in the past 6 weeks than in the 6 years we've lived in this house!  Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I'm also going to need knee replacements from the aforementioned exercise.

Any more tips or pieces of sage wisdom you'd like to share before I figure it out for myself (and wonder why you didn't tell me in advance)?


  1. Is it normal that I'm totally teary reading this because it feels good to know somebody else is exactly where I am?? It sounds like you are surviving- right now I can't imagine doing much more :)

  2. You are a hero! :) Doesn't matter how the day is going, those babies' world revolves around you. You hung the moon in their eyes. :) They will love you anyway. So glad I stopped by tonight.. Last I stopped by, you were just finding out you're preg. .. been a busy summer,and finally got time to blog surf again. Congratulations to you and your husband. Yay!!! So happy for you. Enjoy every second of it.. my son just started kindergarten. *sniff*

  3. Looks like you are doing it all the right way. Motherhood is fantastic and grueling all at the same time. No one tells you how utterly exhausted you are going to be for the rest of your life. They tell you to enjoy it all as it moves so fast, but you are so freaking tired you are just trying to get by. All I can say is babies are resilient and all they need is love, food, love, sleep, love and belly time! You are doing a great time, be easy on yourself.

  4. Excellent post. You are doing a fabulous job!!

  5. I think nobody wants to burst your bubble when you are waiting for the Big Day! Imagine how you would feel if everybody gave you the downsides, it would just spoil those amazing 9 months of dreaming and wonderment.
    Not only will your legs be in great shape, but by the time they get to two years old you will have the strongest arms ever!!! There, I've given something away ;0
    You're doing an amazing job, one at a time is hard enough but to cope with two? Incredible!
    I wish you lots of sleep!!!!

    Gill xx

  6. Thank you, Mary, I am sure I am going to need every single one of these tips! I am getting nervous with the thought of 1 on his way, so huge kudos to you for doing it with 2 with grace!

  7. I have given you the Sunshine Award. Head over to my blog to check it out.
    Happy Sunday.
    Laura :)

  8. Please keep your tips coming!!! I thinking about you and wondering about the shopping cart and stroller issue when I was at the grocery store yesterday. You are doing so great and I love reading your updates.
    xo Susan