Friday, August 24, 2012

One Month

Molly and Jack,

It is so hard to believe that this time last year, we were just starting our IVF journey.  Where has the time gone?  You are one month old.  The past several weeks have been a whirlwind of smiles, yawns and screams.  It's hard to remember what our life was like before you arrived because every moment of every day is now dedicated to you!  For your birthday, we got you both a prescription for Zantac to battle your terrible reflux.  We hope you like it! 

Molly, you are our Little Bit. Unless you are hungry, you have been quite content to carefully observe every detail of your surroundings.  You'll spend hours just looking around with those big bright eyes- nothing gets past you!  When you decide you want something though, you want it now.  Hell hath no fury like a hungry Molly, but once we put on your bib, you immediately get quiet and start rooting for your bottle.  It's ridiculously adorable.  You love bath time, hate diaper changes and are ambivalent about tummy time.  I am in awe of how strong your little personality is already!

Jackson,  where do I start Big Guy?  There is nothing sweeter than kisses from a happy Jack, and nothing more heartbreaking than wails from a colicky one.  I think I've cried along with you at least once every day.  Warm baths and sunshine are our secret weapons to combat the fussiness.  You absolutely love being swaddled- I think it helps your little belly.  Sleep seems to be a favorite activity of yours, but you will only rest well when you are bundled up tight.  Your Nana and Nanny call your wraps baby straightjackets.  I'm sure that you and Molly have an agreement that she'll let you know if anything important happens while you are dreaming, because you'd certainly miss out on it otherwise!  No one would dare call you a laid-back baby, but you definitely are a loving little man when your tummy isn't acting up.

You two couldn't be any less alike, but I wouldn't have it any other way.


Sunday, August 19, 2012


Jackson rolled over yesterday from his belly to his back.  I'm debating on whether this means that he is completely gifted, or that his temper is going to be a big problem in the near future.  I'm putting my money on the latter.  Apparently, tummy time isn't nearly as fun as it sounds.

Disclaimer:  No child was harmed in the making of this video.  Does videoing my screaming chlid make me a horrible mother?  Maybe.  Would I regret not taping this momentous occasion in 20 years?  Absolutely! 

Saturday, August 18, 2012


I am constantly amazed that Molly and Jack are mine.  I am now responsible for these tiny little lives, and I'm loving every minute of it.  Please forgive my lack of updates- things are a bit hectic still!  Our routine is somewhat predictable, but chaotic at times.

M & J sleep well between night feedings and they are awake most of the day.  It's crazy how alert they are!  Especially Molly.  She has two speeds: wide awake and fast asleep. Either way, she's generally happy.  Jackson is a bit more challenging- he is colicky almost all day and we suspect that he has reflux, but those sweet moments when he smiles, gurgles and stares at you more than make up for all of his fussiness!

Being Jack and Molly's mom is the coolest job in the world.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Feeding Frenzy

I think that we've been through every feeding method know to man with Molly and Jackson over the past 18 days.  From nursing, to syringe feeding, to pumping and bottle feeding, to bottle feeding formula, back to a combination of nursing and pumping, and finally just pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk.  Just typing all of that was exhausting! 

Syringe feeding Miss Molly      Multitasking with bottles!
When we found out that we were expecting twins, I just assumed that I would breastfeed them.  It never even crossed my mind that we might have issues with poor latching, excessive weight loss or immature/inefficient sucking reflexes.  Then the twinfants decided to make their appearance a bit early, and here we are.  Because they were "normal" sized babies, it's easy to forget that they were several weeks premature...  but their eating issues certainly give them away.  Neither one of them latch well, and they burn more calories trying to nurse then they are take in.  Breastfeeding just isn't working for us. 

I have stressed and worried more about how and what they are eating, and tend to forget that the important thing is that they are eating.  Since making the decision to pump exclusively, they have both gained weight and are much happier babies.  So why do I feel like a failure when it comes to feeding them?

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Best Day Of Our Lives

11:30am on Monday, July 23.  That was the date and time set for the arrival of our little ones.  Neither one of us slept much the night before.  Paul painted my toenails (blue and pink, naturally)-  it had been a long time since I could reach them myself. He did a pretty good job, considering he'd never done it before!

My super swollen piggies!
 A nurse from the newborn nursery came to visit and had us fill out some paperwork for the twins and suddenly, they were real.  Their names had been written on crib cards, and their admit paperwork had been filled out.  M & J were coming!  I couldn't eat or drink after midnight, so I was starving, excited and nervous.

M & J's paperwork!
 Paul and I woke up at 7am to take showers and regroup during the last few hours of life, as we knew it.  After showering and putting on my awesome delivery gown (Thanks, Kelley!), I put on a little makeup so I would look somewhat presentable in the pictures.  The simple act of drying my hair and primping a little bit helped to ease my growing anxiety about knowingly going into major surgery!

Dr. Jones, my MFM, came in to do a last minute ultrasound to check weight and positions of the babies.  Both Molly and Jackson had turned frank breach, so I am glad we were already planning on a c-section!  Molly was estimated to weight about 6 lbs, and Jackson checked in at 6 1/2 lbs.  By 9:30, my pre-op lab had been drawn and the team from Labor & Delivery had come to check on me and have me fill out even more paperwork, and at 10:15, I was in my L&D suite.  My IV had infiltrated, so after a new 18 gauge (ouch!) catheter had been placed, my antibiotics were started and IV fluids were hung.  The anesthesiologist came in to fill out the paperwork for my spinal block, and explain exactly what would happen once I hit the operating room.  Things were starting to move really quickly!

My doctor was delayed a bit at her clinic, so we weren't ready to start until around 12:00- the waiting was the hardest part, I think!  At noon, I was wheeled into the OR.  I started to cry almost immediately-  it's a very strange thing to be on the receiving end of a surgery you've seen performed a thousand times.  Knowing exactly what is going on below the blue curtain is scary!

Because we delivered at the hospital where Paul and I work, we were allowed a few special requests.  We'd asked a few NICU nurses to be in the OR and our favorite fellow NICU RT was there, too.  Kelley (the aforementioned delivery gown maker) happens to be an NICU nurse as well, and she agreed to take pictures in the OR.  All told, there were 14 people in the delivery room.  I think that might be a record!

A few of the awesome people who were with us!

While my spinal block was being placed, Paul scrubbed in.  Our OB had agreed to let him "catch" the babies- once Molly and Jackson were out and their cords had been cut, Paul would be the first person to hold them and carry them to the warmers.  Once the whole OR team was ready and I was pronounced sufficiently numb, the surgery was started.  Everyone was great about telling me exactly what was going to happen next, and how it would feel.  After a bit of pressure, tugging and pulling, Jackson was born at 12:36 pm.  My OB announced that he was a boy before she even delivered him- apparently, the first thing she felt was boy parts!  Talk about an entrance...   Paul took him to the warmer, and he started to cry.  The moment your baby cries for the first time is honestly the most amazing second of your life.  A few minutes later, at 12:38 pm, Molly made her grand entrance.  She was delivered to her warmer screaming and squalling.  After both babies were examined, Paul brought them for me to see them.  The mix of emotions I felt seeing them for the first time was overwhelming.  They were here.  In the span of two minutes, the life we knew was irreversibly and undeniably changed for the better.  We were parents.

There is nothing that I would change about the way they came into our lives.  Every aspect of their birth was amazing and absolutely perfect.  I cannot say enough about my OB, her NP and the group of people who made Molly and Jackson's birth day possible.  We are so incredibly blessed.

1 Samuel 1:27 (KJV)
For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him