It just occurred to me (literally... I laid awake in bed for 2 hours thinking and it suddenly hit me) that I feel like I am treading water and going nowhere. It sounds bad, but I don't mean it in a depressing, sad way at all. For 9 days, I haven't posted here, and I couldn't figure out why. This morning, I "got it". At this time, my blog is primarily a place for me to document this crazy IVF journey and things are boring right now! So boring in fact, that I often forget we're in the middle of an IVF cycle until my alarm goes off and tells me to stick a needle in my belly. It's crazy!
I'm getting ready for my transfer, but the prep is such a long, drawn out process that it feels like each passing day brings me no closer to our baby. During the stim phase, I felt like I was actively taking part in creating our family- I could picture each injection plumping up those follicles, and I physically felt the changes that were taking place. Now, I can only imagine that these patches that I slap on every other day are doing some good. There's very little monitoring during FET prep, so I have to believe that the Baby-Maker knows what he's doing, and that things are progressing as they should. I feel good- there are no hormonal mood swings or crying jags that remind me that something is happening... it's refreshing and scary at the same time.
We have an appointment in Houston on Wednesday, so I'm sure that I will feel better then. For now, I'll keep thinking happy thoughts about my uterine lining, and assume that all is well in there.