Tomorrow it begins again.

After 2 years of constant injections, ultrasounds and inseminations, we took 6 years off.  At 7am tomorrow morning, we are starting up the war machine again.  We're going to have our first set of labs drawn to send to Houston IVF.  I didn't know that this crazy combination of excitement and fear was possible.

This group of testing scares me to death.   It includes a full analysis of our chromosomes to make sure that neither of us have a genetic imbalance that keeps killing our babies.  What happens if the tests reveal that we DO have an issue?  We'll keep on the IVF path and test any embryos created via PGS-CCS (Preimplantation Genetic Screening with Comprehensive Chromosome Screening).  Basically, some tech in a lab will take our newly created embryos, steal a few cells, and run tests to make sure they are viable and don't carry a lethal mutation.  The thought of the science that goes into it all makes me sick to my stomach.

There are many days that I wish that we could just have a go at it and make our own healthy babies the way everyone else does.  However, it seems that it is not meant to be for us, and I know that God has a unique plan for our family.   I'm ready to board this IVF roller-coaster and hold on for dear life!

I'm finally here!

I've been debating starting a blog for quite a while now, and finally bit the bullet.  I have been following the blogs of some amazing people lately, and really wanted a corner of my own.

There are so many things going on in my life right now and I hope that this will become a place to vent, cry, celebrate, share and chronicle the many paths we are journeying.  Paul is recovering from an unpleasant boy surgery, I am in the middle of a crocheting a ripple afghan that just won't grow, and we are both about to embark on the life-changing road of IVF to start our family.  Sometimes, you just need a place to worry out loud.