2 Months!

I never knew that time could pass by so quickly.  The twins are 2 months old today.  We are starting to develop a routine, which makes days much easier to navigate.  Life is easier when you know what to expect!

Miss Molly:
You weigh just under 8 lbs and are still firmly in newborn clothes.  Most of your adorable 0-3 month stuff just swallows you, little girl!  You've certainly come a long way from your scrawny 4lb 13oz self, but next to Jack you seem so tiny.  Nap is still a four letter word.  You fight sleep more than any baby I've ever known!  Just when we think you might be out, those big blue eyes pop open and you just stare at us.  Thankfully, bedtime is usually another story- once you are fed and zipped into your Woombie, we lay you in your NapNanny and you will sleep for 4-6 hours.  Mommy loves watching you sleep because you make the funniest faces!

Jackson Man:
You're such a chunk with the chubbiest squishable cheeks!  At almost 10 lbs, you are running away from your little sister.  You look like such a little man sometimes.  I am completely in love with your seriousness-  you are definitely your mother's child!  Every now and then you'll give your Daddy a big smile, but you save them for really special occasions (like playing airplane!).  The colic seems to be getting a little better every week, but evenings are still really hard.  Between 5-9pm most nights, you and Molly both cry for at least 1-2 hours and it breaks my heart.  When it's time for bed, I am just as worn out from your screaming as you are!  

Happy 2 Month Birthday, little ones.  It has been the craziest, most amazing two months of my life.

In which I discuss my boobs.

If you are pregnant and have sweet visions of forging this amazing, pain-free bond while nourishing your tiny little infant, stop reading here. You've been warned!

As I mentioned here, nursing didn't really work out for us. It just wasn't in the cards. So, for the past 8 weeks, I have spent at least 4 hours per day hooked up to a milking machine to provide breast milk for Molly and Jack.  I am pumping 8 times per day for 30 minutes each time.  Trust me- all this suction is NOT natural, and it does a number on your nipples. They crack and blister, and generally look nothing like the ones you remember from your pre-pumping days. It's really gross and it hurts.  I spent a stupid amount of money on tubes of lanolin, prescription creams, and different sized flanges in an attempt to lessen the pain of pumping, which brings me to the point of this post. I have found a fabulous product that actually works, and that I wish I'd had from day one.

Pumpin Pals flanges are freaking amazing.  They look a little wonky- kind of like Shrek's ears, right?  But trust me.  These ripply pieces of plastic have single-handedly saved my pumping sanity.  The angle of the flanges lets me relax and sit back a bit, which isn't possible with the Medela flanges I was using.  Even better?  Three days after the switch, the cracks that plagued me for 8 weeks were completely healed and my nipples weren't killing me.  I could hold Molly and Jack without wanting to scream!  I debated the purchase for several weeks, because I couldn't justify spending even more money trying to make my milk-gathering mission less painful.  My only regret now is that I didn't buy them sooner.  Combined with my Simple Wishes Hands-Free Pumping Bra,  I'm in pumping nirvana  Woot woot!!

Things I've learned...

The last 6 weeks have taught me so much.  I've helped raise 2 younger brothers, 4 nieces and 2 nephews.  However, when the child in question is yours, all bets are off.  Suddenly, you become the most ignorant person alive.  Here are a few things I desperately wish people would have told me before the babies arrived.

1.  You will cry a LOT at first, and wonder what the heck you've gotten yourself into.  It's normal, but you feel like complete crap when these things creep into your head.  The first few days/weeks are really, really, really hard, so go easy on yourself.  If I'd known these feelings were normal, I'd have talked to someone about them instead of feeling ashamed.  These passing thoughts do not make you a terrible mother.  They make you human, albeit a thoroughly stressed out and overwhelmed human.

2.  You can accomplish much more than you ever thought possible-  things like hauling two 6 week old babies to 4 different stores in less than 2 hours because there are things that you cannot do without (like dog food, perhaps?).  It is also totally possible to push a stroller and pull a shopping cart at the same time.  Note that I didn't say fun, easy or enjoyable, but it is definitely possible. 

3.  No one is as hard on you as you are on yourself.  Whether you have issues with breastfeeding, or colic, or you're just not sure how to do this whole "raising a kid" thing, you'll figure it out.  No one will judge or second-guess your decisions more harshly than you will, but if your baby is fed, changed and loved, then you're doing it right. 

4.  It is so important to maintain a connection with your significant other.  Taking care of children is stressful and time-consuming, and it is so easy to neglect the relationship that brought your babies into being.  A hug and an "I love you" goes a long way when you are both frazzled, exhausted and snippy!

5.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Literally.  I'm going to have killer legs from all of the squats and lunges I do on a daily basis and the babies aren't even mobile yet.  I have spent more time on the floor of my living room in the past 6 weeks than in the 6 years we've lived in this house!  Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I'm also going to need knee replacements from the aforementioned exercise.

Any more tips or pieces of sage wisdom you'd like to share before I figure it out for myself (and wonder why you didn't tell me in advance)?

One Month

Molly and Jack,

It is so hard to believe that this time last year, we were just starting our IVF journey.  Where has the time gone?  You are one month old.  The past several weeks have been a whirlwind of smiles, yawns and screams.  It's hard to remember what our life was like before you arrived because every moment of every day is now dedicated to you!  For your birthday, we got you both a prescription for Zantac to battle your terrible reflux.  We hope you like it! 


Molly, you are our Little Bit. Unless you are hungry, you have been quite content to carefully observe every detail of your surroundings.  You'll spend hours just looking around with those big bright eyes- nothing gets past you!  When you decide you want something though, you want it now.  Hell hath no fury like a hungry Molly, but once we put on your bib, you immediately get quiet and start rooting for your bottle.  It's ridiculously adorable.  You love bath time, hate diaper changes and are ambivalent about tummy time.  I am in awe of how strong your little personality is already!

Jackson,  where do I start Big Guy?  There is nothing sweeter than kisses from a happy Jack, and nothing more heartbreaking than wails from a colicky one.  I think I've cried along with you at least once every day.  Warm baths and sunshine are our secret weapons to combat the fussiness.  You absolutely love being swaddled- I think it helps your little belly.  Sleep seems to be a favorite activity of yours, but you will only rest well when you are bundled up tight.  Your Nana and Nanny call your wraps baby straightjackets.  I'm sure that you and Molly have an agreement that she'll let you know if anything important happens while you are dreaming, because you'd certainly miss out on it otherwise!  No one would dare call you a laid-back baby, but you definitely are a loving little man when your tummy isn't acting up.

You two couldn't be any less alike, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Love,
Mom

Overacheiver?

Jackson rolled over yesterday from his belly to his back.  I'm debating on whether this means that he is completely gifted, or that his temper is going to be a big problem in the near future.  I'm putting my money on the latter.  Apparently, tummy time isn't nearly as fun as it sounds.

Disclaimer:  No child was harmed in the making of this video.  Does videoing my screaming chlid make me a horrible mother?  Maybe.  Would I regret not taping this momentous occasion in 20 years?  Absolutely! 
 

Amazed

I am constantly amazed that Molly and Jack are mine.  I am now responsible for these tiny little lives, and I'm loving every minute of it.  Please forgive my lack of updates- things are a bit hectic still!  Our routine is somewhat predictable, but chaotic at times.













M & J sleep well between night feedings and they are awake most of the day.  It's crazy how alert they are!  Especially Molly.  She has two speeds: wide awake and fast asleep. Either way, she's generally happy.  Jackson is a bit more challenging- he is colicky almost all day and we suspect that he has reflux, but those sweet moments when he smiles, gurgles and stares at you more than make up for all of his fussiness!

Being Jack and Molly's mom is the coolest job in the world.

Feeding Frenzy

I think that we've been through every feeding method know to man with Molly and Jackson over the past 18 days.  From nursing, to syringe feeding, to pumping and bottle feeding, to bottle feeding formula, back to a combination of nursing and pumping, and finally just pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk.  Just typing all of that was exhausting! 

Syringe feeding Miss Molly      Multitasking with bottles!

When we found out that we were expecting twins, I just assumed that I would breastfeed them.  It never even crossed my mind that we might have issues with poor latching, excessive weight loss or immature/inefficient sucking reflexes.  Then the twinfants decided to make their appearance a bit early, and here we are.  Because they were "normal" sized babies, it's easy to forget that they were several weeks premature...  but their eating issues certainly give them away.  Neither one of them latch well, and they burn more calories trying to nurse then they are take in.  Breastfeeding just isn't working for us. 

I have stressed and worried more about how and what they are eating, and tend to forget that the important thing is that they are eating.  Since making the decision to pump exclusively, they have both gained weight and are much happier babies.  So why do I feel like a failure when it comes to feeding them?